Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does it feel to date your dad?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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