Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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