He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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