Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize