Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
