just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
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She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
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I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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