I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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