oh god the rape fog is back!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
