you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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