So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
