Your tits are I can't wait for
i already hear my dad disowning me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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