Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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