The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
