She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
