you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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