Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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