Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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