At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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