what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
