ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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