16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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