you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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