So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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