My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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