We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
