I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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