Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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