gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
