your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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