Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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