Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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