WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
