Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My friends, they love my intelligence
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
