I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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