It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
