I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
