We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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