wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
