We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!