I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?