can u get pink eye on your cock?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.