why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
