And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
