Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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