He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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