When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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