Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize