I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
