This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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