Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
