just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
