its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
