do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
