theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
