While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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