The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize
