a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
