we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
